It's funny because despite getting older and having led the life of person that has reached middle age- career, marriage, debilitating disease, divorce and bankruptcy, I still have the hope and ambition that I had in high school. Back then when thinking about my future, dreaming up a life of being a celebrity hair & makeup artist, owning my own business, and becoming a professional actress (the latter, that feeds my soul, would be supported by the former two "real jobs" to make my mother happy) getting "old" never really crossed my mind. Better at my craft, yes but old, not so much.
Those things were what grown folks did. They had careers to make money to pay bills and buy stuff. Old was when your kids were grown and you retired because you, Arthur(itis) and Ben(Gay) had frequent dates. That was old.
Another funny thing is, although I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and Scleroderma that cause me and Ben to get together way to often for my liking, and the Dean of The Conservatory (where I studied) always told me I play the best old characters, I don't feel old. My mind still has child-like wonder, hope, drive, curiosity, a need for fun & adventure, and the ability to see the good in people. I believe that when you start to lose those things, you get old. I'm far from it.
Getting older is exciting. Hopefully, like me, you've had some fun and gained some wisdom to make the years to come even better. I've learned so much about myself each year with each experience. I've grown to love myself more and more and can't wait to grow even more in that love. Part of my growth comes from frequent check-ins with myself. I listen to inner wisdom that nudges me to do things that make me happy or warns me from doing that which will make me miserable. Right before my birthday I find myself going a little deeper and reflecting on my year and ask myself:
- What have I accomplished?
- What did I set out to accomplish but hadn't?
- What were my trails/setbacks?
- What were my triumphs?
- What do I want to do better in my next new year?
- Did I love enough?
Now I know that last question may not be typical, but it's something that I think about. With life having a way of derailing our plans we can get so caught up in the mess of things and forget to love. What I mean is, we get so consumed in our drama and ego we forget about other people. I know for me these last few years had been especially hard dealing with my health issues which made it challenging to love on myself like I needed to and others didn't make the cut as often as I'd like. In my new year that is changing.
My mantra for my 39th year is More love. More service. More self-love and care so I can be more of service to others and spread more love. With this blog I hope that you may join me on this journey. Leave a comment below and let me know what do you do each year to prep for your new year and how do you feel about getting older?
I look forward to your comments and ideas. Stay tuned for my main blog posts each Sunday. I appreciate you reading my words and sharing the love.
Much love, many blessings,
Spread Love. Be Love. Live a #LovePowerLife